after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize