im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
