can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
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Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
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drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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