Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize