"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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