I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
