I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
