Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
