this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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