Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
