I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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