Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
