and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The best revenge is premature balding
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
