I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The uberlube is also flammable
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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