that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
