I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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