Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
