just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just gift wrapped bread.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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