sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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