my mouth tastes like poor choices
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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