i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
