between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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