I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Pants are for mortals
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