it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
