Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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