I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You are a genius and a whore.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
