Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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