I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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