Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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