Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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