Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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