I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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