somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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