Its about making memories worth repressing
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
