Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm too high and old for this...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
