I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
