Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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