What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
