when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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