If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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