Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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