so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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