you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize