you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
