Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
