The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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