I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We are two peas in an std pod
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
