who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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