weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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