is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize