does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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