I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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