his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
