Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
