Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
