maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
