evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
