she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
