marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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