I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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